Creating text: paragraph and text level

1. After planning an essay on the board with the class, and providing a sample introduction, the teacher breaks student up into groups of four.
2. Each group is allocated one of the body paragraphs of the essay to write (some groups may write the same paragraph).
3. Each person in the group has responsibility for a sentence or sentences relating to the parts of the paragraph:
• Topic sentence
• Evidence
• Explanation
• Link.

The group plans the paragraph before each student writes their sentence/s into a shared digital space.

See below a sample of a co-constructed paragraph on Robert Newton’s novel Runner. The topic is ‘After losing his own father, other characters come to represent a father figure for Charlie. Discuss’.

Paragraph 1

Mr Peacock was supposed to act like a father to Charlie when his own father died. Early in the novel, we see Mr Peacock honouring the promise by allowing Charlie to take home splinters and bark from the timber yard in return for raking it on Saturday morning. However, it soon becomes clear that Mr Peacock is interested in Ma, and when she doesn’t return is interest, he refuses Charlie the wood saying: “There’s no wood fer ya today. Go home and tell yer ma. And tell ‘er I’ll be calling tomorra’”.

Rather than being a kind father figure Mr Peacock becomes an abusive man in their house, forcing himself on Ma. Charlie saves Ma from him by knocking him out with a cricket bat. Although he sits in his father’s chair, Mr Peacock is not a suitable father figure for Charlie.

The paragraph is edited by the group before it is sent to the teacher, who assembles the whole essay. Students then edit the text as a whole in their groups (complete with teacher’s introduction) and write a conclusion together.

This activity uses a range of structured activities to encourage students to engage with poetry and consider word choice. The purpose of these activities is to provide a constraint that can serve to enable students by directing their creativity toward a very specific task. Where permitted, students will need a device that takes photographs to complete this activity.

Step by step guide:

• The teacher takes students to a chosen location in the school (locker bays, canteen, sports oval, gymnasium)
• Students take two photographs on their walk.
• Students return to the classroom where they record one word that describes each of their photographs. This word might be literal or figurative (There is scope here to be specific, for example, an adjective).
• In groups of 4, each student writes one word for the two photos of three other students. So, each student should have 8 words in total. If it is not possible to take photographs, the teacher can show the class a selection of images, and students can write four words in response to some of the images to get to this stage.
• The group of 4 jointly construct a poem using the 32 words of the group members. They are also able to use four verbs in any form (for example, run, running, ran); two articles (for example, a, an, the); and two conjunctions (for, because, etc.). The students select these eight additional words.
• Students develop a shared reading (interpretation) of the poem
• They record the poem in print or digital form
• Share the poem with the whole group through an oral presentation of the poem
• Walk around the room and read the poems of others at their own pace
• Return to their tables and use a software program to create a multimodal version of the group poem that includes the photos taken.

To jointly deconstruct an argument:

1. The teacher presents a paragraph from a persuasive text to the class. Before zooming in to the paragraph level, the teacher can briefly discuss and annotate the whole text, looking at the different paragraphs in the argument and the purposes achieved by each. This contextualises the paragraph into the larger picture of the argument as a whole.
2. The teacher introduces the paragraph that will be focused on, and that the focus of the lesson is on looking at the specific word choices and how they work in the paragraph.

   The example here is taken from ‘This is D-Day for the nation’s recycling crisis’.

   In the past 18 months other states have progressively deteriorated as the weaknesses in their programs have been revealed. Victoria only recycles 37 per cent of municipal waste, according to a recent report by Infrastructure Victoria – a far cry from the bloated claims of previous years.

3. The teacher reads the paragraph aloud to the class.
4. The teacher asks students to offer a summary and interpretation of the paragraph through prompting questions (e.g. “What is the main idea in the paragraph?”, “What is the main point or argument being put forward?”).
5. Select language choices from the extract to highlight and discuss their impact.
6. The teacher annotates the paragraph according to the students’ responses, adds to or corrects the students’ interpretations, modelling how to identify the argument and to make meaning to interpret and read the text. At this stage, the teacher talks through her/his thinking.
• For example, the words bolded below build a negative stance towards current action on recycling. Adverbs such as ‘progressively’ and ‘only’ intensify the actions, or lack of action, and the inclusion of the evaluative adjective ‘bloated’ (underlined) ‘turns up the volume’ on the noun ‘claims’. The evaluative choices, some of which are amplified, combine to reflect the writer’s negative view.

  “In the past 18 months other states have progressively deteriorated as the weaknesses in their programs have been revealed. Victoria only recycles 37 per cent of municipal waste, according to a recent report by Infrastructure Victoria – a far cry from the bloated claims of previous years.”

7. The teacher checks for student understanding during the joint deconstruction and at the end of the session.

Students may also be encouraged to annotate their own paragraph, as they read, speak and think through it.

A way that teachers can support students to comprehend and select examples from a text is to provide a short, worked example followed by an opportunity to apply new knowledge through the completion of a grid.

This strategy involves:

• the teacher providing the key quotation in the first instance
• students paraphrasing the event, that is, the context surrounding the quote in their own words
• the students finding the quote that matches the example.

Teacher comment:

This quote is clearly placed in the context of the moment in the novel when Charlie is let down by Mr Peacock, even though he had promised to look after the young boy and his mother. Although he had demonstrated acts of kindness towards Charlie, in the end, he is out for his own gain.

Curriculum link for the example above: VCELT409.

Long slabs of quoted material should to be avoided, so students need clear instructions about what to include when using quotes in their work.

Key terms

Quotation marks: a pair of punctuation marks “ ” or ‘ ’ indicate the beginning and end of a quotation where the exact words of another text are directly cited or referenced.

Ellipsis: … three dots or marks (such as…) are used to indicate an omission of words from a phrase without changing the meaning of the original text.

Tips for using quotations

1. Enclose quotes in quotation marks.
2. Modify quotes where necessary. When the exact quote does not fit a sentence , leave out parts of it in order to emphasise others, or to substitute other words (for instance, to change the tense or to identify a character) for greater clarity.
3. Substitute words in quotes where required. For example, change ‘I’ to ‘he’ or ‘she’. Substituting words will not alter the meaning of a quote.
4. Include quotes into the flow of your own discussion.

Provide students with a range of opportunities to practice applying the different conventions associated with the use of quotations in their own texts.

Example: The Sapphires directed by Wayne Blair.

Punctuation activity

Insert the correct punctuation into the following quotations:

1. I would lay down my life before I let any harm befall those girls
2. Youve let Julie run off to Melbourne havent ya
3. Nothing but the best for our stars baby
4. If you people worked as much as you fished youd be really rich you know
5. Just so as ya know youre all standing on blackfella country.

Ellipsis, modification and substitution activity

Using the model below, insert ellipses and modify the following quotations:

Model

“You think you can walk away from your mob? Live in the city for 10 years, making out you’re a gubba and then get up on stage and say you’re a black fella and that’s alright? Nah, it’s not alright with me.” “You think you can walk away from your mob? Live in the city for 10 years… then get up on stage and say you’re a black fella and that’s alright?...

Task

1. “Because I didn’t have a place, and then I met these crazy Aboriginal girls and one amazing woman and I had a place and I liked it. So, if I’ve ruined all of that, then I’m an idiot. But you knew that already.”
2. “They’re having some problems over there at the minute, but I’d imagine that the girls would be miles away from any of the fighting. And there’d be armed guards, of course. Marines whose sole task is to watch over the girls.”
3. “Take her from her family, put her in an institution, teach her white ways. Pretty soon there’ll be no black fellas left to worry about.”

Incorporating quotes activity

Using the models below, re-write the sentences as one sentence, incorporating the quote:

Models

• Dave teaches the girls to “loosen up” on stage by telling them to “Just feel the music!”
• Gail also encourages the group to continue and to keep believing in themselves when things become challenging, when she says, “We’ve got the voices, now let’s shine.”

Task

1. Cynthia and Gail are trying to catch a ride into town, but the drivers ignore them and drive on. “Cause we are black and stupid.”
2. Kay is taken from her home at a young age and wants to be black. “Going out with a black fella is not going to make you any blacker, Kay.”
3. “Just so we are clear Robby, I’m black. I’m just… pale black.” Kay say to Robby she is going out with.

Curriculum links for the above example: VCELA414, VCELY450.

Once students can recognise arguments and different persuasive techniques, the next step is for teachers to get them to identify such techniques in context and to consider the impact or effect of the strategy on the reader. This lies at the heart of the analysis of persuasive language, and is often what many students find challenging.

The sample below from a Year 10 student demonstrates how teachers can support students to identify persuasive language techniques through colour-coded annotations.

The final question that students must respond to when analysing persuasive devices is:

• Why has the author used these particular words/visuals? What effect does the author want it to have on me?

The acronym ATE can also be helpful to follow as an approach to analysis:

• Argument – what is the author arguing?
• Technique – what techniques does the author use?
• Effect – what effect does each technique have on the reader?

Student sample using ATE acronym to structure a written response

• Argument: Many Australians have a misunderstanding about the real reasons that asylum seekers are coming here.
• Technique: ‘misconception’ is an appeal to logic, ‘Australian public’ uses inclusive language, ‘asylum seekers’ not refugees
• Effect: Gets the reader to reassess their own beliefs about why asylum seekers want to live in Australia

In the opening paragraph of her letter to the editor, Angie Farrer argues that many Australians are unaware of the reasons that force asylum seekers to flee their homelands. Through an appeal to logic, she suggests that this is a ‘misconception’ and she keeps the reader onside as she explains the reasons why. By making reference to the ‘Australian public’, Farrer is inclusive of her audience on the one hand, but keeps them at a distance on the other. The impact of this technique is to get the reader to assess their own position on the place of asylum seekers in Australia, and as a result, to sympathise with the many people who come here because of war.

See, VCELA459, VCELY466, VCELY467, VCELY468, VCELY469.

This strategy may be employed as an individual, pair or small group activity where students work together to identify each part of the ATE acronym. It can also be modified to support the reading of literary texts (VCELT461, VCELT464, VCELT466).

Ayres, P., & Sweller, J. (2013). Worked examples. In J. Hattie & E. M. Anderman (Eds.), International guide to student achievement (pp. 408–410). New York: Routledge.